…is almost as good as Vinnie Vinh’s chair, almost. It managed to cash today, lol. Not twice, but at least once. Not too bad. How did it come that far? This afternoon a mate of mine contacted me about an online-tourney at MermaidPoker (no link love for you suckers). A friend of his is running a (real life) poker series in the area and they had a nice price left over, so they decided to play a online-tourney for it. First price poker vacation to Copenhagen, Denmark including airfare, hotel and buyin to the tourney – all in all a 3k value. Buyin was 5+0.50$. Nice tourney with only a few runners. So I download the software and register. Then I deposit some money and register for the tourney. Later I login again, or should I say I try to login again. It doesn’t work. I try a few times before trying the “lost pw”-feature. That doesn’t work either. So I wait a few minutes before trying again – nothing. Then again – nothing. So I contact support – nothing. I try again a few hours later – pw recovery is working, yeeehaaaw. I try to login and it says “no no, you entered a wrong password too often, your account is locked for 24h for security purposes”. Errm thank you suckers, my tourney is starting soonish. So I contact support again and finally get someone to respond to me. After I email all the requested things – nothing. Thank you very much, you won’t see me play one god damn hand at your crappy site.

So…my mate contacted me earlier tonight and told me that I had cashed in the tourney. “You’re in the money. 8th place. 11$” and I’m laughing my ass off. On one hand I’m really pissed about missing the opportunity to win a 3k package for 5 bucks, on the other hand I’m glad that my chair pulled off this amazing feat – at least I didn’t lose any money and I’ve got something funny to blog about 😉

So…let’s get down to the fugly part, which is all so normal these days. The daily rant, brought to you by fucking god damn fugly situations (TM).

I start the session with some headsup and I drop the first four matches in a row. I can’t win a god damn hand. No 60/40, no 40/60, no 50/50, nothing. I lose to sick straight flushes (one outer gutter ball) sucked out two pair, etc etc. Oh and yes, every time I’ve got the idiot end of a straight, someone will have the upper end, no doubt (that cost me two matches, one directly and one by crippling me).

So I jump to six handed and soon enough we’re down to headsup. I’ve got a nice lead, then I look down at presto, which is allegedly gold, but not headsup, he shows JJ. The next hand he raises preflop and as I’ve played a lot of hands with him so far I put him on ace rag. Why? Because he had raised with nothing else so far (I know because I called him down every single time or he called me down A3 vs my AQ, A4 vs my AT and he had lost both hands). I look down at QTo and decide to have a look. Flop comes down JT2…he insta-pushes…ah ha…I instacall and indeed he holds the oh so powerful A6o as expected. Turn Ace…cya. So fugly.

After that I played two more headsup matches. Won one, then lost one, so 1 in 6 for the night.

After that I jump back into the next six-handed one and things are looking good until I make a move with Kh9h in the SB. BB is the only bigger stack than me and I raised it 3BB preflop. He calls. Flop comes down Qh-4h-6d. I lead out 120 into the 180 pot, he reraises to 360. I call. Turn comes 6h. I check he pushes. Well…he was the BB and he could basically have ATC. But honestly, what hands am I afraid of here? Sure, I don’t particularly like the paired board, but I think I’ve got the best hand. So I call…and what does he have? 6s4s…can you believe that god damn bullshit. It was s00ted, so I can understand the donkbox call preflop. Then on the flop he’s golden with two pair and then the god damn dealer peels off the god damn 6h instead of one of the other 8 hearts to bust me. So fugly, but all too fitting into my current run. Everytime I’ve got a monster, someone got a monster+1.

I’m sooooooo damn mad now I could play on and on, but I see that it’ll lead to nothing. I mean come on. I play against calling station after calling station and I chop them down and chop them down, then just in time they catch enough to get it all back and then some. The best example was one really bad fish. I chop him down and hold a 2:1 chiplead. Then he goes on a tear hitting TP or better every single time it comes to showdown. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t normally know if I didn’t have a god damn hand in each of those hands, too. He TPBP, me MPBP, He TPTK, me TPSK, etc etc. So sick. I’ll leave you with a random pic dump of the nice hands of the night…I’ll probably see some of you at Kat’s rebuy donkfest tomorrow night…apart from that I’ll stay the hell away from poker as it’s really fucking with my head these days…

Calling a raise preflop, then calling on the flop with nothing but a god damn gutterball…maybe I should have layed it down on the turn, but I didn’t see how I can put him on 45o there…

Once again…how can I put him on 64 there? I mean yeah, if he put me on a flushdraw on the flop, his push on the turn should have been the warning sign, but I didn’t feel like folding there.

Here’s the good old cooler, not that bad, after all I didn’t have to push that hard there. I could waited for a better spot. That being said, I’ve still got plenty chips left after the hand.

But this next one is just as I describe it above, I knew exactly what he had and I was 100% sure I had the best hand…sure enough the three twenty-five aces in the deck are enough for one to come off on the turn…

Yet another classic. I chop him down to 1k. He comes back like a madman as I can’t catch a god damn thing and each and everytime I try to move him off a hand he has at least TP. Oh well…at least this one ended the match pretty painless…three outs on the flop…two outs on the turn to kill me…nice.

Similar to the one above, I can’t catch a break once I’m far ahead, my best shot would have been to push all-in every god damn hand, I guess I may have won that way. The way it was, I got down low again…pushed…and he was s00ted.