…it’ll get you. After tonight’s session I could be really pissed, but I’m not, at least not really. It was just one of these lovely days when you can do everything right and you still get kicked in the balls, repeatedly. I’m really tired, after 5am over here, so just a quick wrap-up and a random pic dump…

Stats, PokerStars: Headsup – 12 matches, 6W 6L; Six handed – 2 matches, 1x 2nd, 1x 3rd (bubble)

FullTilt, Friday night Donkarama: 1x Buyin, 4 rebuys, 1 addon, kicked in the balls every time I was about to get my hands on a big stack…final touch KK vs K3 s00ted…totally flushed out in 7th…so fugly…I’m out…nn…
Random Pic dump:

…and you should never argue with a stoned towel. *lol*

Played a little session tonight and started off on a good note. Won the first headsup match easily. Then the usual stuff went down where I played some sloooooow opponent, we trade chips back and forth and once the blinds are big it’s becoming a crapshoot. Guess the result of those matches…yes…I can’t win one because when it’s push or fold I either get no hand or my hand cracked, really sickening.

So two headsup defeats later I decided to play a six handed SnG to finish the session and it was a real interesting match. We had a nice fish (as identified by sharkscope) and some minor winners/losers (money wise). After I busted two players I’m sitting pretty when the blinds start to rise. That’s when the usual blind cooler rolls off…

Oh well…still plenty of chips left. A few hands later the stoned towel busts the shortstack fish. Bubble time and I switch to aggressive blind steal mode as they’re pretty high now. Soon enough I get it in with JJ vs AK…all good until the river K….damn. One time I want to win a flip on the bubble. All good though, still plenty of chips left. Good thing that the player I gave the chips to is a total rock, he will fold into eternity unless he’s got a monster preflop or has less than 5BB…soon enough he’s down to 5BB and get’s eliminated.

So it’s me and mr. stoned towel headsup. He got a 2:1 chiplead. One double up with A4 later and I’m 2:1. I win some pots, lose some pots. Soon enough we get it in AQ vs QJ…the whole three outs prevail and he’s got the lead again. I pick up another monster A4 and win the pot. Then we get it in again K10 vs QJ and the K on the flop seals the deal.

So I win it and mr. stoned towel goes off about how bad I played and how lucky I got with the A4 etc. I try to talk to him in a normal way explaining what should be common knowledge…if I’ve got an ace headsup and an ace hits the flop in an unraised pot…well…sure I’m going to call your bets. He doesn’t hear me though so I have a little fun with him, but it’s just not worth it, he’s just sour that he didn’t win, after all pushing in preflop with QJ twice isn’t really +ev…but that’s beside the point. I finally won a six handed again after a drought of a few days. Cool stuff….I’m off…

No real fun because of the cards, but because of the company. Play my usual shorthanded SnG and got sucked out on within the first orbit, cya. Won a headsup match and then I decended to the depths of donkey-heaven/hell.

I played a few 1$ SnGs with two friends and boy was it fun. The play ranged from “good” to absolute donkdome (all-in every hand). It was quite funny, although my mates were on my left in all games. Oh well…did fairly well dodgin numerous bullets and donkey-kicks and finish ITM two out of three. The finishes were bubble (4th), 3rd and 2nd for a hefty profit of 0.9$, lol.

After that I played a last HU SnG, my good ol’ favourite PLO8 and wouldn’t you know, I ran into one of the leaderboard’s finest (5$ ones, 3rd place). Played for almost an hour before he finally finished me off. Oh well, it was fun. I’m off now, Full Tilt Strategy Guide Tournament Edition arrived today to keep me company…

That sounds about right. Today’s play was both awful and awfully painful. I’ve seen it all today, from the lovely case-card (one outer), to the usual two, three and four outer to the usual cold-deck bs.

Sooooo fugly. I start HU and win the first three matches easily. No flips, no all-ins preflop, I get my opponents to put in their money drawing very slim and they don’t catch. Nice. Next thing you know I’ve dropped 6 matches in a row and a nice string of bs hand…from the usual 88 vs KK…to the AT vs Q6 (guess the river card)…to the case card, everything in there brother.

I’ll spare you the other screenshots as they make me wanna puke even while uploading them. So I’m three out of 10 and I seriously consider quitting as it’s obvious that I won’t make any dough today. Instead I decide to fill the dozen. So I win the 11th match and then in the 12th match the same bs again and I decide to quit NL for the night (5/12).

So I fire up a PLO8 game and the same bs over and over again. I start with the best hand and guess what, I can’t make a hand, not even if my life depended on it. Then it’s finally time to have the best hand, my opponent catches perfect to quarter me on the river. After that I was basically tilted and ready to close friggin PS, but I finished the match. The next hand seals the deal…very nice to see yet another case card…wheeeeeeee….gives me enough to finally hang myself….

In remotely Tilt related news, Amazon managed to ship out my newest order yesterday, so the Full Tilt Strategy Guide Tournament Edition should arrive tomorrow or something….nice…finally a new read…

Not much poker playing today, just the usual bit of headsup. Played 7 matches and managed to win 4 of them, should have been 6, but hey, I can’t do much more than put my money in way ahead. The most beautiful match was against a real aggressive oberbetting donk. I let him run me over, time and time again, then when it was time to get payed off big time he sucked out on me on the river. His advice 2 sec after the suckout: Dude, buy a book, you’re awful. *lol* *lol* *lol* I didn’t even get into arguing with this donk, because it would be a total waste of my time, I just told him “ah, we have another gracious suckout winner. gg enjoy”. So beautiful how some donks behave on the faceless interweb, so beautiful.

But enough of the online poker chatter…it’s time for some shout-outs:

1. The first shout-out goes out to BuddyDank. I stumbled upon your “poker radio” and I really enjoyed the mix so far when I’m playing. Cool stuff there, keep it up…especially dropping the f-bomb while giving updates on blogger tourneys in progress (e.g. yesterday’s rebuy donkfest….m’fuckin breaktime…m’fuckin be right back….m’fuckin final-table….just beautiful to hear some good old swearing in the a.m. 😉 ).

2. The second shout-out goes out to Dr. Pauly. I respect him a lot, not only because he’s one of if not the best poker blogger around, but because he “introduced” me to the whole blogger tourney thing, back when he held his series at PokerStars. After today, my respect has risen to a whole new level though:

Source: PokerNews.com

Damn! Talk about representing the poker blogger community! REPRESENT!

That’s how my competition should feel tonight. Even though there were some nice coolers and stuff, I managed to whip most of my opponents as the coolers happened once I had grinded them down quite a bit.

So the stats for tonight: HU NL HE 2W 1L, 4ppl HU: 1W, PLO8 HU 1W…so 4 out of 5 wins…wheeeeee…I’m off…

My favourite hand of the night: The hand before that I got coolered, yet again, Q8 vs QT…sure enough the other two queens show up and sure enough the money goes in…good thing that I’m still the chipleader after that pot as he had already dumped half his stack to me. Than this hand comes up…

…is fun, especially if you’re dealing with total morons. Then again, does it lead anywhere? Not really, but it’s fun, although not that much fun if you’re dealing with lucky ignorant self-righteous asswhipes who think they invented poker, lol.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. After two days of poker playing abstinence I jumped back into the donkpool that’s known as PokerStars to mankind. It didn’t take long before the first bs hand went down. A few weeks back it would have probably catapulted me straight into tilt-land, but hey, I’m over that, at least for the most part.

The usual, hey I’ve got an Ace, that’s gotten be golden, even if the dude raising all-in hasn’t play a hand in two orbits and has shown nothing but the nuts, wait, how do I even know that, I couldn’t care less, I’m worried about my own cards here.

After that I jumped into headsup mode and the same bs went down…

The hammer flop should have given it away, but hey. I didn’t tilt either and took him out a few hands later. Then in the next one, just when you think you’ve seen it all, the biggest cooler comes down. I mean, you get the money in better than anything (4:1) and then the flop comes down. I titled this one the “jackpot cooler”, lol.

Oh well…always nice to flop top boat against quads. *lol*. I took him out a few hands later. Then I donked around a little in the PLO8 headsup matches, won one lost one. Then I tried another six handed SnG…guy cold-calls the flop…the turn brings the nutflush and he leads out…I reraise…the dude behind me cold calls…button dude calls…river double pairs the board…oh shit…I lead out he pushes…now I’m stuck…I guess I should have layed it down, but hey…no error-free session…guy behind me reluctantly folds…button calls….shows his monster Q2 s00000ted….nice hand sir, at least on the flop…

Oh well…I jump back into HU mode and drop one. Win the next one. Then the next bs hand comes down in the third one and I’m sick and tired of it. I congratulate him on his nice catch.

He then goes of and tells me about how this is no bad beat as it’s only a bad beat when you get the money in good. Errrm yeah Einstein, as if there’s any chance to not go broke in that hand. He then tells me my next fault was that I didn’t raise on the flop. Errrm yeah Einstein, the concept is to lead at it hard there with three Kings, way to make money in headsup. He then tells me that after the flop he was on a freeroll anyway. Errm yeah Einstein…shut the hell up donkey boy. You got lucky on my ass catching your moronic three outs and I got unlucky, not only because you caught your friggin three outs, but because I didn’t catch mine on the turn or river and the board sure as hell didn’t pair either, surprise surprise. You gotta love it. But enough ranting, my finishing line was the usual. Nicely done sir, enjoy. I guess he won’t looking at his stats.  Apropos stats, I won the whole 0% coinflips, 0% going in 60/40 (two live vs two live with one over). Mix in the whole “cracking your hands” thing and it’s been one hell of a ride…right into the shitcan. Fucking poker 😉

Today was a day of beats and bad beats both on- and offline. First the offline bad beat: I fire up the good old printer and print a shitload of documents. All fine for the first 50-60 pages…then…paperjam…okay, no biggie. WRONG. I open the thing up and the paperjam is the least of my worries. What happened? Somehow the toner cartridge decided that it was about time to spill a shitload of toner onto the paper…hmm…paper spinning with shitload of toner on it, dirty printer, but wait, it get’s better…was does the laser printer do with the toner once it’s on the paper? Yup, heat it up. So I look at the fuser and the whole thing is really messed up. (Shitload of toner + extended period of heat (thanks to paperjam)) = melted, plastic-like toner everywhere. Wheeeeeeeee…damn! I guess I’ll have to try to clean up the mess and get a new toner, maybe I can save this thing. Bad beat? Well…if something else was busted I would have spare parts, but not the fuser, well, it’s “only” the most expensive part of the whole printer. Dang.

But back to poker content. I fired up some shorthanded SnGs today and it was really fugly. Don’t get me wrong, I cashed in the first three and busted out fifth in the fourth one, so basically all good…then again, not really.

First one, I crush the donkeys and I get down to headsup 3:1 in chips. One fugly hand later and we’re back to even…am I supposed to win the thing there? Errm…probably…sigh…the whole three outs.

He goes ahead and donks off the new won chips like crazy again…then the following hand comes down…(the only way I could have won that hand was to push on the flop, but I don’t like pushing with the Ace on board there, especially considering my kicker)…

Then he catches a set on me…oh well…

I bust out the next hand…60/40…he catches, I don’t. Second place.

I fire up the next one and soon enough I find my next nemesis. To make a long story short: Every single time we bump heads he either has the best hand (very rare) or he sucks out…I take second again…so fugly.

So I fire up the next one and I once we’re headsup I celebrate the third in a row ITM. ITM is fine, but I’m there to win, not to finish second all the time, but that’s exactly what happened, again. I didn’t do any screenshots anymore as I was just sick and tired of it. Let’s just say that I had two nutflush draws that didn’t get there with two cards to come (that makes me something like 1 in 12 over the last week) and the last hand (about even stacks) came down to a coinflip…my 88 vs A9…9 on the flop…A on the river and that’s that…second again.

I fire up the next one and the table is a good mix of fairly good players (aka players who can fold a hand) and true donkeys (they were s00ted, etc). Play is fast and loose, but tightens up significantly in levels 2 and 3. Once the blinds hit 50/100 I’m left with 8xx chips…I look down at QQ in the BB and I love it when EP limps, cutoff raises, button calls…I push…cutoff and button call…flop comes KQK…and I more than triple up into the chiplead (cutoff had 77, button A9o).

A few hands later a true shorty is in the BB. The BB is 200 and he got 140 left behind, I look down at AQo on the button. When it’s folded around to me I decide to pop it up to 600. SB pushes (he got me slightly outchipped). I ponder as the BB folds. The SB had JJ in the BB the hand before and flopped a set. I don’t know why I even think about the hand before this one, but I do. Then I think that it’s probably a flip in the worst case (as he’s on a mini-rush and could very well put me on a steal)…so I call…he shows…JJ…guess what he flops, yes a set…Can I get a “rigged? hell yeah” 😉

So I bust out in fourth in that one and I’m out…enough beats, bad beats and playing against players that should have been out numerous times…night night…

Playing with a slight fever can be quite entertaining. Started the session with a six-handed SnG and crushered the competition to win it in less than half an hour. Then I busted out early in the next two, one time slightly behind, outflopping my opponent, then he resucks, in the next one I went in with the best and the only suck was on me.

After that I went back to headsup and it was fugly. Won the first one. Lost the second one. Played PLO8, won the first one, lost the second one. Then I played some more NL and lost three in a row with some of the most beautiful hands I’ve ever seen. Nothing better than a 66xxx board…you hold J6…your opponent holds J6…another hand against the same opponent JK55A…you hold 45…your opponent holds 56…chop chop…then the clouded judgement really caught up with me…I knew I was beat and still I called…I guess I should have quit two matches earlier…but oh well…

Well, well…I came down with a nasty summer cold on thursday night and it’s not pretty. So while I didn’t play any extended sessions, I managed to squeeze in some poker yesterday evening and tonight.

Yesterday I played strictly headsup, won 3 out of 5 and called it quits. Tonight, I mixed it up a little: Started with a shorthanded SnG and got my balls kicked nicely. First hand JJ in the SB…one limper…I pop it to 100 (5BB)…BB calls…limper folds…flop comes down Kxx…I lead out…BB calls…turn another blank….I fire again…he calls…river blank…I check he checks…he shows K10o…nice call preflop Mr. hey I got a face card. I managed to lose only 3xx chips on that hand, could have been worse. It got worse later on when I got some nice junk kicks and busted in fifth.

After that one I needed to regroup a little and so I fired up a headsup match. A few seconds later the donkey walks in. I always ask myself how you can drop 3k (real $$$) when you’re average SnG limit is five bucks. I got rid of him pretty quickly as he thought his TPMK was the nuts…

So then I was ready for some more shorthanded action. I played really tight early, which wasn’t hard when you’re looking down at 6-/7-/8-/9-high all the time facing raises and reraise preflop. Soon enough I found some hands though and was able to chip up nicely. Then, we’re on the bubble, the usual bs happens.

Soooooo beautiful and what could be better than such a hand? Well, the fact that the donk goes on and bluffs all his (and my chips) off to the third player in the very next hand. BEAUTIFUL. So I went into headsup down about 5:1. Oh well…some hands into headsup I get the money in with nines…opponent calls with KQo…KQx flop…cya. At least some money, so who am I to complain?! Still buggs me…but oh well.

So I fire up the next one and I’m literally card dead the first 15 minutes. I can’t get a hand. Then I decide to take a shot with KJ and it pays off as the JxxxK flop brings me the (lucky) two pair against KQo. Once I finally get some real hands, the donkeys still don’t give me respect. Haha, so beautiful when you see those donks playing one SnG and they still don’t pay attention. Yes sir, I folded for 15 minutes (I played the whole two out of 20+ hands) and I raise and push like crazy, this doesn’t mean I have a good hand, or does it?! 😉

Well, I doubled up with JJ vs A9o. Big stack felt like calling me…ty sir. Then I double up again a few hands later with TPMK when the next donk misses his flush draw and still calls with SPNK. Beautiful. Once we’re down to three-handed it’s my turn again…I push with AQ and get called by yet another Ace rag…this time my Ace stands up though and we’re down to headsup and this time I’m 2:1. A few hands in and we’re even. A few hands later and I’m slightly down. A few hands later push comes to shove and I take down a huge pot, leaving my opponent crippled with 600 chips (blinds 100/200). He steals my blinds for the next two hands as I don’t feel like calling with 23o and 25o. Then he doubles up and doubles up and doubles up and we’re dead even again. Wheeeeeee. A few hands later I’m able to bust him though – I raise preflop, he calls…flop comes down queen high…I flop SPTK. I bet…he calls. Turn is a blank (5)…I check…he pushes…I think I have him, although he could have a queen…I call…he shows Q5o for two pair. Ouch. My first misstep of the evening. Barry G. walks in and yells “Ace on the river”, lol, and I suckout to take it down. Boy does it feel awfully good when something like this happens for once when it counts. So I’m finishing the night with three ITM (two wins) out of 4 contests (including the HU match)…good stuff…I’m out…